The SMITH MYTH.
A Story in Verse regarding the Origins of the Smith Name
and the Results thereof:
By one of those who bear the Name.
In the distant past, in “Days of Yore”,
Ladies were Virtuous. Knights went to War.
The Knight was clad in a wondrous Suit,
protection in his War-like Pursuit.
No Tailor made this suit, so fine,
‘twas made by a “Smith” from “Solid Iron”
Now the Knight would worry, that while away,
his virtuous Wife may wish to “Play”.
Tho’ he loved her well there was no Delusion,
when the Brave Knight came to this Conclusion.
And he pondered long, on how she should stay,
the Virtuous Lady she was “this” Day.
The Knight turned to his friendly “Smith”
to ask Advice; and he said forthwith,
why Sir Knight for Protection, a Suit you wear.
Some Trousers we’ll make for the Lady, fair.
Crafted of Iron and lined with Fluff,
to protect the Lady’s delicate Muff.
So the Knight went off to hack and hew,
quite content, as now he knew,
no matter how hard “the Locals” tried,
they could not defile his Joy and Pride.
BUT, many Years later on his return,
“The Lady” he found, with a couple of Bairns.
The Knight was wroth. He called for the Smith
to be brought to the Manor House forthwith.
He thus concluded that he who built
those Tin Trousers beneath her Kilt,
was obviously the most likely “One”
to have fathered the “Lady’s” Baby Son.
So the Knight declared [and it has been since]
that such Children, even born to a Prince,
while the Lord [and his Henchmen] were away
and the Lovely Lady wished “to play”
would be named after the Local SMITH,
Which is why there are so many of us and we are a “Bunch of B@$t@&()s”.